our baby is 1!!!

This last month has been a long one for us. It started off actually on october when I got some kind of sick that I had never been before. It was bad. Knocked me out clean. It was too bad because chris and Regan were here and I spent the whole weekend doing the death sleep as brady calls it. Even after I still didn't feel right. We pushed through halloween because...it was halloween and I finally made our sesame street costumes. haha. So we had to go somewhere! Theo was oscar the grouch, brady the garbage man, jude super grover and i was big bird. We went to the church party and then i came home and slept. On monday, the 31st, regan was still here and we went to trick or treating. And this is when theo got it. He had a fever and just looked kind of ill. We gave him medicine and figured he would get better. On and off and on and off his fever came. It worsened and worsened and I slowly got better and jude slowly got better but theo never really did. It finally started to affect his breathing when he fever got up to 105.9. That was a bad scary day. I undressed him, put wet rags underneath his arm pit and waited for it to go down. We didn't take him to the emergency room because I know what they would have done. They would have done the same thing...especially if it was coming down with medication. And it always did. After that fever however, his breathing never really improved. I waited a couple more days maxing out on medicines for him, calling his pediatrician and just cuddling him on the couch doing nothing else. Finally brady and i decided that something was wrong. He looked too sick. And although it was coming and going, his fever and ill-looking self, was coming more often and more often. Although the on-call pedicatrian told me that it was normal for babies to breath fast when they had a fever and not to worry, we sent a video to dr ludomisrky. We never heard back, so we waited and waited and then i called and it went straight to the out of the country ring. Then we knew he was in israel. We really didn't want to go to the ER if we didn't have too so we wanted to wait to see what he would say....so we waited while we held our sick little baby. We finally decided I should go and just as I got all ready and almost out the door, theo perked up, his fever left and he lifted his head and smiled. Oh gosh, we couldn't be one of those people who gets to the ER and they say whats wrong..."you mean to tell me you brought you happy, afebrile baby to the ER at 1 am because he is 'sick'"? so i took him off my pack, went back to nurse him and we thought he is fine. Just then dr ludomirsky called back and said yes it was fine to wait until tomorrow when we would go to his office. I then said that it looked like his fever was coming back. we both decided that it would be a good idea to go to the ER at NYU just to rule out pneumonia and endocarditis. We went and we stayed. For RSV, pneumonia and rule out endocarditis. Oh man it was a long 4 days but kind of a tender mercy. I was able to hold and cuddle sweet theo for that whole time!

We finally got out and we are now on the mend...despite the fact that jude just contracted norovirus somewhere. (eye roll). BUT today is theo's birthday! One year old! Man, i don't know how that went so fast and so slow.

Lets see, his latest and greatest are taking your hands and making them clap. If you give him your hands, he will rearrange them so he is holding thm in s good way to clap them for you. And his smile...melts me. Another one of his greatest--just since last night! is making cooing sounds!!!!!!! thats huge! its bababababa. He is great at rolling and so cute how he sits up in a matter of less than a second. Even when he is not feeling great and fussy, he has his eyes closed and whining and still goes from his belly, through the middle splits and pushes himself up...with his eyes closed. It is so sweet and so sad because he is so sad. But so cute. His therapists are trying to get him to sit up the conventional way, but I love the way he sits up. So i embrace it:)

Speaking of embracing it. Although it has been a long whole year with our sweet theo, sometimes it is still tender for me. Like when we hang out with "normal" babies his age and they are all standing and feeding themselves and almost walking and holding their heads up....and then i look at my baby and he can't even stand on his feet, has no interest in feeding himself and still kind of sits slumped over....I usually have a good cry for him and me. Cry that he is going to be teased or looked at funny or other silly reasons.  tThen I cuddle him that much longer. Cuddle my cuddly baby and realize how lucky I am to have a sweet cuddly baby who can still sleep in his bassinet by my bed because he doesn't stand or kneel so he won't fall out, can ly on my bed and he will lay with me, calmly and we can look into each others eyes and fall in love, or just hold him. And look into his sweet eyes and see that little glimpse of heaven. Of course I would never tell this to any of my mom friends because it is our little secret. And i don't want to brag how I have the best baby. The bany who doesn't cry when he is hungry, who doesn't cry when he wakes up but blows raspberries, who doesn't get into cupboards, and who can sit on my lap in church and enjoy sacrament with me:).

We are so blessed and i am so lucky to raise such a sweet baby. He is so precious. Brady and I can't even get enough of him. We could eat him he is that delicious. seriously, we have a hard time even putting him to bed because he is always so darn happy and smily and cuddly and fun to have around. he is a social laugher and will most of the time laugh if you laugh. No chuckle. haha its so cute! And jude, man he loves LOVES jude.All jude has to do is look at hiim and theo will crack up and give him a huge smile. Its adorable.

Camping and 9 months old

We have been doing a lot of outdoorsy things recently. Our friends, the Luceros, plan a camping trip every year to lake sabago which we are privileged to be invited too. It is our second year as invitees and we hope to do our best as to continue to get the invite. We also go with the Kline Family, the Matheny's and the other Lucero's in Boston. This year there were 2 new additions. Theo and baby jack.

Jude and Theo slept just awful. And for pretty good sleepers I mean it was real bad. We all slept on a queen air mattress to start. So you know that can't end that well. Then, since theo and I don't usually sleep next to each other all night, he was confused if he should be nursing or sleeping...so he didn't do either very well. And jude was just missing his beeb. ha! But man, they sure are cute. So that morning when jude walked out of the tent at the crack of dawn, he was in his diaper and sweatshirt and the first thing he said was, "good morning! How did everyone sleep? What did you dream about?"

Brady has been traveling kind of a lot lately. And this was from one particular sunday when it was just myself and the babies. I did my darndest to get out o the house on time. I woke theo up from his nap, only to have jude fall asleep in the stroller on the way. haha. Can't win, wake one to have the other sleep. Therefore, when we got there, I rolled my stroller into the chapel and there we sat. Luckily, theo fell asleep right before we got there. Man, they looked so cute that day. Theo blowing his bubbles.

the Philadelphia temple.

theo's 9 month diaper shot on the fur rug. its a tradition. 

first day of school...one of the only that he has really attended. He refuses to let me leave, soooo recently, we walk there, I threaten him with no shows and he still won't stay without me. Ha! So we go home, he is a peach and doesn't watch any Paw Patrol and just is as sweet as a plum. I mean, I guess he just likes me too much?!

this is how we roll. Look like a homeless caravan. But actually the bassinet is pretty great because theo can sit up in it and then also take a nap!

 Also, concerning our mode of transportation, it has been known for jude to say, "hey can somebody help us?" whenever we get to the top of the stairs somewhere. He shouts it. Easy buddy. We aren't desperate yet.

and he sits! That is his 9 month accomplishment.

jude and I went to the natural history museum one day. Theo was asleep in the stroller and jude was in heaven. He could go where he wanted, no friends to hold him up. he said, "Mom, take a picture of me in front of the dinosaur because I'm wearing my dinosaur shirt. Cheese". Not to mention his fav 'pirate slippers' he is sporting. He calls them his pirate slippers because i have been known to wear some old navy gray flip flops around the house 24/7. thereby making them my slippers. Smart boy. Doesn't want to get his feet cold/dirty. 

jude is initiating theo into the bath

this is theo, half of his life. Rolling around somewhere on that nasty floor. with either his hand or leg in his mouth. #itmaylookasifidontmopbutido

you look like "let it go"

Jude has been the epitome of a threenager lately. He's got the highs of highs and lows of lows. And let me tell you when he is high, it is high but when it is low...he is real low. Since Brady has been gone this last week, it has been a real test of our (jude and mine) true character. ha! Since he is so adult like--sometimes---we can have conversations AND arguments. Luckily, most of the time we handle it very well him and I. I decide that it is probably hard for him recently because Theo is becoming more of a baby. Meaning that now I have to care for him more and he makes noise and especially when brady isn't here to help. So, I thought that it might be nice if him and I spent sat all day together. Just him and I...well and theo, but no other friends. And it was so great. Something that we really needed.

Judes new wake up call is bright and early at 7. This particular morning, i woke up to him scooting off the bed with his bebe in his mouth and then woke up again to him saying, "mom, i just went jobby!!". I jumped up, put theo back in his bed and ran into the bathroom to find a little tiny jobby. And before i could even say anything jude says, "sooo mom was that 5 times? can i get the trampoline now?" I told him that he can have a toy when he goes 5 times. Well, he thinks that little tiny ones count and then asks me to put his diaper back on and he finishes his jobby. He doesn't quite see eye to eye with me on that. Bless him. I told him no, but said we could get a popsicle. what a push over.

I mean, today was his day. Instead of forcing him to eat oatmeal or cream of wheat I let him eat daddy's cereal (aka raisin bran crunch) while we watched a show. His latests requests are "Paw Patrol first then Arthur." Followed by the him singing, "paw patrol, paw patrol..be there on the double...chase, Marshall, skye, rocky zuma..." haha so funny. Oh it is like he is in heaven when it comes on. Its so cute slash scary. Yikes.
So anyway, we did that, then we went to the park. Every time that I hope that theo will sleep he doesn't and this was one of those times. Sweet jude then says, "mom would feo like to swing? put him next to me". Oh jude. Mom guilt is real and the balance is hard for me. When do i add theo in the mix and when do i try to just play with jude/theo?

Anyway, we swang for a good hour. I think he had fun! Then we had a picnic and then ended our park experience with a rainbow popsicle. He always says---everytime we go to the park---"mom, you have cash today?" he knows that he can only get a spiderman pop with cash. I told him yes and he once again lit up.

HOwever, to his dismay, they were out of spiderman pops and only had rainbow. Jude says, "thats ok, we can get one tomorrow". haha yes jude we can.

We happily walked home (lying, as I SWEATILY pushed my wheel barrel of a stroller home). Read books, told him the 2x daily reading of Goldilocks and the three bears, and we all 3 fell asleep for a hot second. Until that hot second that theo woke up and then him and I went out of my room.

I showered for the day, braided my hair and we then went that night to Stuart Little in the Park. As we were going, I had braided my hair. Jude says to me, "oh mom, your hair is so pretty, it looks like let it go". he said it in his sweet jude voice. I died.

It was so fun to go to the movie. We got there early, played ball, play soccer, then danced until the movie came on. It was so much fun. I'm the luckiest. And sweet theo, watched. Soon enough theo, soon enough.

Since I started this little family blog to share those things that are dear to my heart and to share those moments when the veil is the thinnest, I have to share a quick sweet moment that occurred tonight.

Let me set the stage for you. All our laundry is sitting in Brady's office, as is all of our suitcases and shoes and yada yada...stuff I should be taking care of right now😁. And Brady at scout camp and me just doing bedtime routines. Both the boys were bathed and I feeding theo on "momnys bed" where we read books every night. Usually I am the party poop who hurries along bedtime to as least books as possible and Brady tends to stretch it out--followed by sometimes falling asleep during/in the process of bedtime routines. Ha! Anyway, tonight I just felt no rush and figured that Jude will get to bed eventually. So, he wanted another book and I told him to go and get one. He slid off the bed, trotted into his room and came back saying as he walked I the door, "mom, sciptures first, then the book. Daddy says..one sckipture then the book." I said, " ok great idea jump up on the bed" "sure, you read first then I will and first I tell you about the picktures". He proceeded to tell me about the pictures. Man. Heaven So close and so sweet. A tender moment with a strong spirit. I wish I could take credit for that. Unfortunately I can't. He is just a good kid.

Also!! Theo laughs! It's the most silent laugh of a baby I have witnessed. Maybe that's why it is so special.

we went to the conservatory gardens in central park and it was beautiful...jude was kind of a pill that day so i'm glad we captured this shot. 

i mean, a naked baby??!! I just can't get enough of him. And sometimes I look into his eyes and see a little glimpse of heaven. 

washington DC

Since the Pena's became dearest members of our eastern family, we have been attending many Wharton events. I would like to call us being honorary aWharton students. Really it is the best kind...you get invited to the parties without having to do all the homework! I mean, what's so hard about going to wharton? ha! Anyway, we are so happy to be graduating and we celebrated this past weekend by going to Courtney's parents house in Potomac. It was beautiful. I only have pictures on my camera of her parents farm which is about 30 min away from their house. It is soooooo beautiful. Like I almost wish I could get remarried in this barn! I mean with this backdrop?? 

Because they have so many grandkids, they have little baby 4 wheelers that the kids can drive. They were in heaven. Oh they also have man size motorcycles. Courtney's dad came up to brady and said, "have you ever driven a motorcycle?" Brady, (a little hesitant) "yeah...i have". Off he goes, a little shaky and killed it once or twice. Comes back later and starts to put jude on. I squashed that idea. And its a good thing because on the way home in the car, brady says to me, "I actually have never driven a dirt bike". ha! Thats what i thought.

like a snow sled but in the grass. 

easter pictures

Just a few of our crew. Since I 'misplaced' (aka LOST) my memory card of all of theo's newborn, I decided to just not think about it and start with the pictures that he has now. Oh gosh, but I'm not giving up and I will find it. These are from Easter. I was going to take Theo to church but brady thought against it. So, I snuck in for sacrament and then snuck out. We took him for the first time for his blessing day.

yes our frumpy easter picture. It can only go up from here.