theo, today was a rough one. You weren't really hungry at all...so the "feeding you every other feeding with a bottle of fortified formula" didn't go over so well. Seeing that you didn't even really want to nurse. It is days like today that I feel like a failing mother. Can't do the one job i am wired to do. Feed my child. I finally resorted to syringe feeding you which has worked in the past but I just hate it. It just feels wrong. But i did it tonight while watching the presidential debate thing. It took us 48 min to feed you 2 ounces. And I'm guessing you probably spit up about half. Win win mom.
                                                                   

                                                               Man you sure are cute.

           

             

so cute

Today was a follow up doctors appt for you, theo. Your doctors name is Dr Sasala. (He is a very nice man who always touches my arm and is very smiley and when I complained about my itching breasts he said he knew a lot about that and could take a look if I wanted. ha! Brady thought he just wanted to cop a feel. Later, the next day i found out he is gay and has been married to his partner for 12 years! He has triplets from his previous marriage which is what can throw you off) Anyway, he is so great. We really like him. So today we were sent by the cardiologist for a weight check.

I have been stuffing you full feeding you every time your eyes open just for this weigh in. We go to all lengths to get that milk in you one way or another. Since you are not keen on the bottle, I have been known to squirt it in your mouth or syringe it. Both take a really long time but we'll do it for your fat cells to increase.

Well, i am sorry to say that my toil and trouble was for no use this time. You weighed 9 pounds 1 ounce 2.5 weeks ago and today you weighed a mighty 9 lbs 3 ounces. I have got nothing left in me. The crazy thing is that you have been growing i thought. Like you kick and kick and kick and you are awake a lot more lately. And today when the first developmental therapist came, you turned your head from left to right and then right to left by tracking a picture of a face. So therefore I thought you were doing much better than the scales tell us.

So now we have a new plan, your heart surgery will be sooner. It was going to be in the middle of march but now it will be earlier. The pediatrician's office gave me a container of Formula which you will get tonight. Either through a syringe or a squirted. i am praying so hard that you will be able to gain weight. Fingers crossed. And you are just so cute!


And earlier today, during one of your feedings, Jude needed no entertaining. He went and got his baby. His baby Feo, and sat on the couch.
jude: My baby feo is crying
me: why is he crying?
Jude: he wants some milk.

Jude proceeded to climb on the couch, laid the baby on his lap while he lifted up his shirt, held it with his chin and then placed his baby against his chest to eat.

Jude: He is eating good.

haha he clearly has heard a lot of that lately.

theo is such an easy baby. Like almost TOO easy! If i wasn't nursing then I might forget that he was in our house ha! He is so quiet and it is all too easy to feed him and then lay him down and come back 3 or 4 hours later to feed him again and he is in the same position that I left him.

So now that he is getting a little bit larger it is a little bit easier for me to carry him around. He still can't hold his head up and he is still very sleepy but more awake that i am able to carry him around in my little solly baby wrap. And he makes the cutest noises. like a little puppy.